When I'm Old..

I started keeping a journal for Landy almost as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I would just write him little things I was thinking, things I was excited for, finding out he was going to be a boy, and now I write little love letters to him and just funny little things about him as he hits various milestones and stages. It's funny because you think as a parent you have so much to teach your kids and we do....But man do they teach us life's most important lessons. I was re-reading some old entries and there is this underlying theme of being thankful to him for opening my eyes and teaching me about love and life. Landy adds the color to my world... Crayola doesn't have a chance at naming some of them. Beautiful and rich colors so bold and unique they can't be confined to a name or a label. Its a beautiful thing.

Landy taught me to be a mommy....

The last memory I was sharing with him was about a time I asked him if he would take care of me when I'm old. Okay, maybe a serious question but I did just read the book "Love you Forever" so thats my excuse...

Disclaimer: If you haven't read this beautiful story PLEASE for the love of tears have tissues handy. It's a story about the evolving love of a mother and her son... I'm so impressed that this author and illustrator could capture a story like this so eloquently and beautifully that it literally brings tears to your eyes yet its a children's book. That is quite and accomplishment. Anyway, after reading this book (to myself) and crying (privately) I nonchalantly asked Landy if he would look after me when I'm old. Without a moment's hesitation he said "Yes". I asked him what we would do.

When I'm Old.....

Landy will drive me around, he will take me to the library to read and do puzzles. He will drive me to Barnes & Noble so we can play trains together at the train table.

He will cook me chicken nuggets (consequently this is HIS favorite food) and we will eat fruit snacks together. Oh, and he will get me coffee from Starbucks.

We will go on adventures together. FYI adventures are when we walk in the woods and see the extraordinary in the ordinary. We have an adventure bag and we collect rocks, feathers, sticks, (especially if they are shaped like a "Y") pine-cones, etc....Oh, one time we saw a dead bird and he threw a fit b/c I wouldn't let him bring it home.....I asked him what we would do with it...He said put it on the kitchen counter. Oh my boy...you melt my heart.

He will sing me "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" every night before bed.

Oh, he will also mow the lawn for me.

I know this may seem silly but I was thinking about how special the moment actually was. As parents its so easy to doubt ourselves and beat ourselves up over our mistakes and failures. They seem so big and important and because we obsess over them we assume our kids will too. I think that couldn't be further from the truth. Its the little everyday things we do and say, the silly things we don't give a second thought to that shape our children's views and hearts. Those silly things I do with Landy make him feel loved and taken care of and what bigger compliment than to have him say he would do those things for me. It was like seeing myself as a mother through Landy's eyes....He thinks I am fun, he likes spending time with me, I make him feel safe and secure. It was such a sweet moment of affirmation that I never expected from such a silly question. I know that Landy KNOWS I love him and that is an amazing feeling. In Landy's eyes I am enough. I swear, my sweet boy has stolen my heart right from my chest!

And Landy, know that I am holding you to this...Consider this a signed contract!

One of the last pictures in the book where it is inferred that his mother dies.....'nuff said

Oh, Landy....Thanks for adding the color to my world!