My Noticer

My Noticer
There's always time to stop & smell the roses!

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

love potion no. wrong


Maybe its because I only got 4 hours of sleep last night, maybe its because Austin is snoring away while Im awake listening to Jake and the Neverland Pirates, maybe its because as I lay on our tiny couch with my huge 4 year old like a twisty pretzel he says to me;
"Mom, I just wiped snot on your leg"......

the sad part, I didn't even care....I just laid there thinking about how tired I was. Then it dawned on me and I just had to quickly vent....

These days I am a walking disaster! It doesn't matter that I shower daily I perpetually smell of sour baby puke which is awful, yellow baby mustard poop (as Landy calls it), tears (mine), and now apparently top notes of snot..... Oh and then after Landy nonchalantly tells me he wiped snot on my leg without skipping a beat, its seriously like he thinks I am a human tissue, he has the nerve to complain that my legs are "spiky".....Really, WELL EXCUSE ME!

I found this super pretty chart that breaks down the scents in perfume...I don't see any of my notes listed. I guess Im starting a new trend and I know there are other mothers wearing the same fragrance these days! Apparently perfumes are compromised of top notes which are supposed to last approx. 15 minutes, then your middle notes or HEART (seriously) notes last up to 30 minutes, finally your base note can last up to 24 HOURS! I think my problem is my science is all wrong. The scents Im wearing these days are all base notes and they aren't floral or fresh in nature.....I mean they are fresh as in ALL NATURAL....thats it, I'm just really into being holistic and organic...... Okay, no I am not. But thats the sarcastic rose colored lens Ill see my predicament through. Now Im off to shower and apparently shave my legs. At least I will smell beautifully fresh and clean for at least and hour!

Friday, May 6, 2016

The Weight of This World

 I think everyone can relate to the feeling of having the weight of the world on our shoulders. There are tons of inspirational quotes and images of tired looking bodies bending under the weight of the literal world globe resting precariously on their shoulders and backs. Its a universal theme. Typically it is associated with negative circumstances or life's heavier burdens. I myself have felt the anxiety and pressure of life and its sometimes unbearable weight. Would you believe me if I told you I figured it out and for the first time I can quantify with real numbers what that weight is?

Probably not...

February 1st, 2016 the weight of the world was pulled from my body. He weighed exactly 9 pounds and 7 ounces. At the time my body was being stitched back together so I wasn't having this sweet "aha" moment, I just knew I couldn't wait to hold him. This revelation about the weight of the world didn't hit me for a couple of months and when it did it was during one our many middle of the night feedings. Those are the magic hours, when I'm deliriously sleepy and happy and content at the same time. Many times I am so exhausted I fall asleep as my baby nurses. Sometimes he falls asleep in my arms, other times I'll wake up and look down to see him looking at me. Sometimes he's smiling like he was just patiently waiting for me to see him. One night during our magic hour I was noticing his smells and sounds and I started thinking about his weight and how solid he felt in my arms.
The pressure of his little body in my arms got me thinking about my role as the most influential woman in his life and my responsibilities to him as his mother. I remember being overcome with this feeling of deep love and gratitude for his life. The pressure I felt to be good and to do good in my role as his mother was enormous but the burden of it felt so light.
I realize one of my callings in this life is to raise this tiny helpless baby into a strong young man of sound character. I want him to be a man of integrity who loves Jesus and therefore loves people. This is by far the most important duty I will ever be charged with and I'm strangely feeling emboldened.
Ive been thinking and reflecting and trying to make sense of how such a heavy responsibility can feel so light and I kept thinking about a verse in Matthew.

Matthew 11:30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Obviously Jesus never promised His followers and easy or care free life. Really its quite the opposite. Following Jesus requires submission and self denial on many levels. BUT, when we align our lives and hearts with God's will something on the inside changes and we are never the same. That inward change is what makes all the difference, it makes us desire our lives to be His.

What does that mean?

For me it means when my four year old challenges me daily, or on the nights I wish I didn't have to be up feeding my adorable baby, and life isn't all sunshine and rainbows, and I hate myself for being a crappy mom, wife, friend, sister, person....  I know that I can and will do better. When I am faced with doubt and difficulties I know that because His yoke is lined with love I have the assurance of His supernatural encouragement.  I know that those moments of weakness don't define me because Jesus does. So I get to go through life with this crazy realization that I won't do it all perfect but in the end it will be right because Jesus can reconcile my mistakes and missteps. I know there will be plenty and I still feel emboldened because I  know my courage and confidence comes from a supernatural power. default does that make me Super Mom?? Definitely something to ponder this Mother's Day!

I hope any mamas who take the time to read this feel encouraged. And I know Motherhood should be the definition of the weight of the world. Like; the weight of the world= MOTHERHOOD

I sincerely hope you can find the weight of your own burdens whatever they may be light.

Just some of my favorites

My whole world...In literal pounds a couple hundred!

This captures the kind of dad Austin is. We are lucky.

One of the few pics of us together.

Brotherly Love

Poor, poor Logan...Landy is obsessed with his peanut costume!

Happy Mother's Day!! LOL

Logan looks terrified and probably with good reason!

"Baby Landon" I think he was feeling left out

I came into the living room to this, and my heart fluttered.

Landon wanted to watch a movie with Logan! Weirdly I think Logan is into it!

Stolen kisses, my favorite.

Falling in love

Oh the places you'll go!