Dear Body B.C. (thats body before children NOT before Christ),
Its not you, its me. I've changed, Im different now. But then again so are you. You have changed like A LOT in the last 6 years. We had some really good times and I do miss shamelessly flaunting you around. Gone are the days of tops with no bra, I mean unless I am at home and there is absolutely NO chance anyone will see me, Im talking not even the UPS guy. As my good friend aptly described post baby/nursing boobs they are like "rocks in socks".... I laughed way too hard when she gave this spot on description. If you're not laughing you are either one lucky momma or you don't have children therefore you're boobs are still naturally perky! Or, I suppose you have no sense of humor so the disclaimer was probably for you ;)
Gone are the days of very small bikinis for various reasons. The "rock in sock" scenario I suppose could be solved with enough underwire, but then I just love my new one piece that has the ruching in all the right places around my once very flat mid section. Body B.C., we'll always have that one spring break in Cancun when we were 20.... And every time I see a 20 something year old on the beach in a little bikini and everything is neatly tucked into where it belongs I think of you with fondness. I promise not to forget you.
Gone are the days when I had no idea what body shaping undergarments were.....Im still learning the wonders of these creations. I feel like I need to mention that they can be very tricky when trying to use the restroom. This is why women in their 30's often still travel to the bathroom in packs... Anyway, I'll always remember and appreciate the times we could slip into something form fitting and not have to worry about bulging in the wrong places. We'll always have those fun nights in Florida when we danced the night away and didn't have a care in the world.
Body B.C. we've been through a lot together, when I say a lot I mean the first 25 years I was alive. I want to thank you for being strong and making it possible to create a life. Body B.C., I want you to know this is no small feat and I am beyond grateful. You grew and stretched, and ached and delivered a human being into this world. Also, you helped attract my husband so there's that too, kind of a big deal in creating said human.
Body B.C. I want you to know you have been instrumental in my life and Ill always love you, BUT....
I guess what Im trying to say is... I've found someone else...I know thats hard to hear but its for the best. I think we just want different things out of life now and Im looking for a healthier and committed long term relationship. If I hold on to you and what we had I can't fully commit to this new and healthier relationship I am trying to foster and thats not fair for any of us. I feel I owe you transparency so I want to be honest and let you know that this affair has been going on for some time and you know her well. She's been in our lives trying to help me see the truth for the last 6 years and I'm finally ready to listen. Body A.D. (thats body after delivery in case you were wondering) speaks truth and love and acceptance into my life and I need more of that. I hope you understand.
Body A.D. challenges me to love myself in deeper and more meaningful ways. She challenges me to look beyond the image in the mirror. She makes me see what I am capable of and my bra size and pant size are inconsequential. She has shown me that my body isn't the only thing that has changed. My capacity to love has grown exponentially, the range of emotions I experience are heightened, my view is less obstructed and she is constantly challenging me to look deeper and farther. She encourages me to see what my body is capable of and wants me to celebrate its strength. Where society wants to minimize the beauty of childbirth and instead focus on the physical evidence that is left behind on our bodies in all different ways she wants me to focus on the perfect act of child birth.
Body A.D. is slowly teaching me to love, appreciate, and embrace my after baby body.
She helps me see that my C-section scar is so much more than a scar. It allowed safe passage for my second baby boy to be brought into this world and placed in my arms.
Any stretch marks are just proof positive of the growing and stretching my body had to do to create new life and carry my babes safely for 9 months. Its a good thing an elastic heart is just a metaphor..As much as my capacity to love has been stretched its a wonder my heart beats.
My softer midsection and rounder hips remind me of how my children have and continue to smooth my rough edges. Loving them makes me love people, loving them makes me more compassionate and generous. They make me hopeful and keep me positive. They make me a better person.
My midsection isn't the only thing thats softer, my heart is too.
My "rocks in socks" boobs may not be winning any wet t-shirt contests but they did and do provide nourishment. They are a soft and warm place to cradle my babes. I can't count how many times they have comforted and soothed tears when nothing else would do. I've spent hours with tiny baby bodies cradled against my breast while they drift off to sleep. Also, I saved ridiculous amounts of money on formula so theres that too.
Body B.C., I hope you understand.....
I hope 2017 is my year to love myself and see myself the way my boys do.
|A friend shared this on Facebook and I think it perfectly sums things up!|