Great Expectations

Landon,

Right now you are upstairs warm and snuggled up in your bed.
Tomorrow when you wake up you will be 8!
So, while you are drifting off to sleep I am continuing on the important tradition of your birthday letter.

I wrote your first official birthday letter 4 years ago and now it has become something I look forward to every year. I love to go back and read about the things you were doing and it's interesting to see my thoughts and perspective as your mother throughout the years. I just finished reading the very first birthday letter I wrote you.
You were 4 years old and I am astonished by how much you were already you...
Your little personality has always been there, it's just that you are MORE of yourself.




It's the hardest thing to explain but I guess it's like a house. Like, when you were born there were blue prints, and then the foundation was laid and the concrete poured. Then the beams went up and the  windows and doors were framed out. The insulation, plumbing, electrical, all of those things were done and I could see in my mind's eye the finished product.

I could see the potential and I had ideas about what the finished house would look like.
I suppose I still have ideas about what you will look like, and what kind of person you will be.  Sometimes I imagine different scenarios and situations you will face as you get older and I imagine how I think you might react. I imagine different careers I could see you in. I imagine the kind of teenager I think you will be. And of course as a parent its normal and natural to think and wonder. Since I have seen your blue prints and have been a part of laying your foundation and building out the framework for who you are I imagine 4 years from now when I'm writing to you for your 12th birthday maybe I won't be so shocked when I realize you are just MORE of who you are.
And over the years details that I never imagined will be added.

My one dimensional blue prints didn't include any landscaping so I just pictured lots and lots of sunflowers.
The thing is, you prefer red tulips and neat organized flower beds.
And, I didn't realize that the one thing the blue prints were missing was a wrap around porch with hanging swings but you knew that was a must.
In my mind I pictured the house brick and stone but you like the color blue, so now the house is blue and it looks better that way. The blue prints I saw had designated one of the rooms as an office but you decided to turn it into your art studio and now there are beautiful and original one of a kind pieces hanging on the walls of your house.
I pictured generic and safe neutral colors for the walls but you envisioned something different so now one of the rooms has an orange accent wall and it just happens to be the thing that ties the room together.
And I swear the original blue prints had an attached mother-in-law suite (for me obviously)
I noticed you turned that into a music studio...

I am so honored that I got to be a part of the initial design process. And your dad and I have tried to lay a solid foundation and we will continue to ALWAYS check for any cracks. The integrity of your foundation and walls and the plumbing and HVAC stuff largely falls on us while you are in our home.  Leaky pipes and roof issues thats where we step in. YAY fun!

But you...you get to add the colors to the walls, you get to designate how the space is used.
You get to pick out the flowers for your garden. The rooms should reflect who you are as a person and I know over the years there will be some major renovations. Your cute little airplane bedroom that you share with your brother will one day be all yours and I'm sure Dusty and Skipper will be replaced with sports memorabilia and pictures of fast cars.
Your dresser will no longer hold all of your special lego creations that you don't want Logan to be able to reach. Instead there will be manly smelling cologne and deodorant..maybe even a picture of your girlfriend instead of the
"I love you to the moon and back" picture frame I got you.
Your stuffed monkey with the crocheted scarf I made will be packed away in some box labeled keepsakes.
By the way that scarf was supposed to be for you but...Yeah... I DON'T crochet.

Honestly, I'm glad the details are up to you.

You are so much better that anything I could imagine! You surpass every expectation because you add something no one else can...YOU.

Know this; I expect great things for you!
And because I know YOU and  your blueprints and foundation I expect great things from you.
I can't wait to be right about how great you will be and all of the amazing things you will do in this world.
But, I also can't wait to be wrong about the specifics of what that looks like.
I can't wait to see how YOU work out the details, because I know anything that I imagine is missing your imagination. And it's your dreams and imagination that will bring depth and profound life to my one dimensional blueprints.

So go on Landy, innovate, develop, re-design and break the mold.
Feel free to demolish, move walls, and build additions.
Modernize, and restore; renovate to your heart's desire!

Willy Wonka sang it best in "Pure Imagination"

We'll begin
With a spin
Traveling in
The world of my creation
What we'll see
Will defy
Explanation

If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Want to change the world?
There's nothing to it

I want to see a world of your creation

Stud

I could watch you watching helicopters all day

I LOVE that you are still okay with being silly

New Hair

Air Show 2019

Loving this less toothy grin

Little boys should never be sent to bed.
They always wake up a day older.
-Peter Pan

Here's to turning 8 and GR8T EXPECTATIONS!

Ode to Austin

Since it's Father's Day I just wanted to take a moment to honor the best dad I know.

Austin, I have never seen a man father the way you do. You are all in all the time. Your patience and dedication inspires me every day. You are a man of integrity and it shows in how you live your life. Nothing about you is for show.
Your goodness, kindness, and generosity are genuine. Its one of the things I love most about you.

I love that you make spending quality time with our boys a priority. You take the time to explain and teach things to them. You are so intentional and it shows. I love that our boys get to see you use your talents to serve and love God. I love that you pray REAL prayers with them. I love that you bring bible stories to life for them. I know you think it's not that big of a deal the things you do because in your mind thats just what a dad should do. Today I just want to remind you that it is absolutely a big deal.


You are raising future men of God and this world needs more men like you in it. I can't wait to see the men our boys become. I think you should know that I believe they will aspire to be the kind of man you are. As a father is there really any higher honor than knowing your boy's dream is to grow up to be just like you? I can tell you with certainty that you are Landon's favorite person in this world.
Yes, it pains me to admit that but for now I've still got Logan!

You are this family's anchor and you are absolutely irreplaceable. Because I am a weird and morbid person we have talked about death way too much but seriously...you can't die first.

You are the heartbeat and rhythm of our family. Because you love music so much I was thinking about the parts of a song and how that if our life was a song you are the best parts.
Give me a mic and I MIGHT be able to do some backup and harmonize with you..
You could maybe throw me a tambourine if you're feeling lucky...But you...

You are the chorus, you're what the listener is waiting for.
The best and most memorable part of the song...the hook.

As if being the chorus wasn't enough you are also the bridge. You break up the repetitiveness and add an element of surprise. You go rouge and mix up the chords, rhythm, and melody...
you make the song interesting.

And when things start to get crazy you are the break the song needs. You give space and time for the music to breathe. If the atmosphere is right you might build the music up for a complete shift in where the song is going. Sometimes you might even go into a new song..seamlessly because you are that good.

I guess what I am trying to say is you are the melody to our song...

mel·o·dy

/ˈmelədē/

Learn to pronounce

noun

1. - a sequence of single notes that is musically satisfying.
   - musically satisfying sequences of notes collectively.

   
   

   
   

   
   

Anyway, I just wanted you to know you are so loved, appreciated, and admired today and everyday. Today was just a good excuse to remind you and myself how truly blessed we are to have you.
Here are some pictures of you and the boys that I adore!

Here you are just being you with our boys. Laughing, and having adventures together.
I have a feeling that it's in stolen moments like these and just watching you live your life where our boys will learn to live theirs.

"I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren't trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom." -Umberto Eco

This one!

Logi's 3rd Bday

Logi's Smile

There are not enough words for how much I love you in this  moment

This was a good day!

My boys

Best. Photo. Ever.

Just a couple of nuts

I am so glad I married you!

Playing Hooky

Boys! Your sweet little expressions perfectly convey how I feel about playing hooky. It's not something we do often but that's what makes it such an unexpected treat. I had so much fun with you guys today. As you both get older I find that my role is much more passive. For instance, at the playground you two are happy to run around imagining a whole new world where anything is possible. I am free to get lost in my thoughts which is sometimes exactly what I need.

Watching you guys run, and laugh and exist in a place where you are the masters of your realities was my favorite part today. I looked around and saw other mom's in different stages than me and I found myself sort of going back in time and remembering. Some of the memories tug at my heart a little more than I am comfortable with. Just when I would get a little teary eyed another mom would yell at her one year old for trying to eat mulch for the umpteenth time. Or, I saw another little boy who was an escape artist and watching his mom get that panicked look on her face and then sprinting around constantly snapped me back into my wonderful reality. Of course our current stage isn't all sunshine and rainbows..BUT, mostly I just feel like we are nestled into this sweet, perfect little spot and so I'm glad we celebrated that today.

I LOVE books and I am so hoping that my love for them is contagious. I keep a basket on my dresser with the best of the best. They are the one's I couldn't bear to part with and I love to imagine that those stories will wiggle their way right into your hearts. I can't wait to give them to you one day when you have babies of your own and my hope is that something inside you will light up because you will get to go back in time and experience a little bit of childhood magic. Today when we played hooky I couldn't help but think of the book "Mrs. Muddle's Holidays". It just so happens that this beautiful story lives in our specials basket. Mrs. Muddle takes celebration to a new level and I'm not sure I could ever compete with her tenacity. And I'm not even talking about the generic holidays. Mrs. Muddle is a master at noticing the small things and finding ways to celebrate all of life's in between moments.

Landon, you are my holiday guru. I mean, every holiday is your favorite until the next one is around the corner and then that holiday becomes the apple of your eye. I love this about you! So I know our annual hooky day is right up your alley and will become something you anticipate every year! We are so keeping this tradition alive. Don't be surprised when I call you up in thirty years and in Anna's little voice from the movie Frozen when she say's; "do you wanna build a snowman"?

I'll say to you; "Do you wanna play hooky"!

So here's to Mrs. Muddle's Holidays and remembering to slow down and take the time to stop and smell the roses.

I know these pictures will always bring a smile to my face and I'll remember when....

Logan, you insisted on having a "broken" neck

Your little smile...

Just a couple of brothers taking on the world one dragon at a time.

Obsessed with this duck...her feather tuft is the cutest thing ever!

Queen

Weeds are flowers too, once you get to know them A.A. Milne

We were all a little enamored with this monstrosity of a gentle beast

Loving this guy's new and less toothy grin

My whole heart