What does a stay at home mom do all day....

Wars have been started around the question; "What does a stay at home mom do all day"?
Of course it depends on the context and tone of person asking said question. And, WHO is asking the question can have a lot to do with the response you might get as well.

The short answer is; A LOT

But I have to wonder what the "right" answer is....Like, in the minds of the people asking what exactly are they looking for. I want to ask; "What do you think we do all day" OR  "What items on your checklist would I need to complete to cause you to view me as worthy and successful"

If that checklist includes the following then I'm golden:
-wearing pajamas or leggings all day
-making culinary delights such as peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
-watching Octonauts for the thousandth time
-coloring
-using imagination to create elaborate story lines for plastic dinosaurs
-engaging in a nerf gun war
-going to the bathroom with an audience
-getting a gym membership strictly for the one hour of child care
-cleaning the entire house to have it undone in five minutes
-snuggling on the couch
-taking a nap when my child does because that is genius
-catching up on Netflix when child is napping to keep sanity
-doing laundry for the umpteenth time
-ingesting copious amounts of coffee
-teaching ABC's and 123's

Get it...these are all the cliché things moms do. I know, I am so original! Of course the list goes on and on and I can list all the sweet mushy things too like: raising a human being, instilling patience and virtue, inspiring my child to discover his inner self... At the end of the day we stay at home moms do what ALL moms do. We take care of our children. And that looks different every day. Some days a lot gets accomplished and some days are lazier. One is not better than the other; just different.
The end result is the same. Our children feel safe and loved and are clothed and fed.
NOTE: some days he is in jammies all day, just sayin. And you should know that some days I am a gourmet in the kitchen and I pull off a healthy and delicious meal, and other days its goldfish and pizza. I have no shame about this.   

The point is; we provide and nurture in more ways that a silly list can capture. Moms shouldn't have to justify our days away to ourselves or others.

I am learning to embrace this truth. After working outside the home for the last two years I sometimes cringe when people ask what I do...Like I am afraid of what they will think. Its not fair for SAHM moms to vilify working moms while making themselves out to be martyrs, and likewise it's not fair for working moms to insinuate that SAHM are lazy or less important while they are out "doing it all". We all make choices based on necessity and what is best for our families, we need to own it and stop comparing. We need to stop being envious of what the other has and be grateful for our own individual situations. Sometimes I think it is our own self doubt and guilt, and sometimes even jealousy that causes us to be haters.  A brilliant woman named Amy Poehler recently wrote a book called Yes Please 
She wrote about women on women crime and it was right on. Here is a little excerpt and a lesson we can all take to heart!

1. Good for her, not for me

“That is the motto women should constantly repeat over and over again,” writes Poehler. This applies to anything from the debate on birth plan to breastfeeding and staying home versus going to work. “We torture ourselves and we torture each other [over the different choices we make], and all if it leads to a lot of women-on-women crime.” So next time you find yourself “struck over the head by someone else’s crap”, try taking a breath and remember: “Good for her, not for me”. 
Lets put a stop to Women on Women Crime!
Click here for other life lessons from Amy

How sad is it that mom's on either end of the spectrum feel they have to defend their choices. Comparisons are dangerous, they do nothing but divide and separate. They make us hyper aware of our differences instead of the ways we are the same. It's not healthy and there have been all kinds of posts and articles about competition among women and mothers especially. I don't think I have any other astonishing revelations that haven't been discussed to death, so, in the spirit of owning my occupation with no shame or justification needed the highlight of my day today was building and creating the most awesome lego ship/boat ever. The smile on my 3.5 year old's face was all the proof I need that I did a job well done today.

Tomorrow maybe the highlight of my day will be teaching quantum physics to my son!

Go on someone, say something! Please, someone tell me the window idea opening out of the floor was pure genius!

Okay, because I am so proud I even took pictures at different angles. Thats how excited I am that I built this! Also, when Landon's 5 year old friend came over to play I victoriously showed him what I made. I know...I am a sad, sad nerd. But no adult is going to grasp the excellence of this so I have to rely on children to match my level of excitement. It actually gets worse....I couldn't wait for my husband to get home b/c he is normally the lego master but I was afraid the kids would break it so when they were distracted I took it to keep it safe. I may actually glue this together and enter a lego building contest (just kidding).

Side shot

Yes, that is a gun on the front, there is even a space for the shooter to sit

Look at that prop! The artistry is too much!

Okay, sorry. I got a little carried away. Tell me the highlight of your day! Remember...no shame!

Muses & Such

It seems like being a "stay-at-home-mom" or "SAHM" and blogging go hand in hand. I know this much, being a "working" mom or SAHM I appreciate all the moms out there brave enough to write about this journey called parenthood. Talk about the most personal and vulnerable part of life to share... The highs are so high and the lows can be nothing short of horrifying. Parenting, as I am finding out is like a never-ending roller coaster ride. There is anxiety, anticipation, heart palpitating, teeth grinding, stomach flipping, fear, exhilaration, excitement, joy, laughter, seriously I could go on forever with these adjectives.. 

What I mean to say is; parenting has peaks and valleys and we do the best we can with our circumstances. And like a roller coaster ride we don't get to be in control. I mean, have you ever tried to control a 3 year old?? The 3 year old is pushing the buttons and levers on the roller coaster and you better be strapped in and ready for anything. 

When I read blog posts or articles from other mamas I feel like I have comrades. Sometimes I feel myself letting out audible sighs of relief as I realize other people's kids do the same things as my child and these wiser parents concluded that "it's a phase and they just have to grow out of it". "Thats ALL it is", I think to myself, when my son looks at me with murder in his eyes because I said no about some trivial thing (probably involving vitamins or fruit snacks) and then violently bites his arm. All the while he does not break eye contact with me. Talk about horrifying.... 

Or, better yet, sometimes I realize other people's kids are way worse than mine on his worst day! So maybe sometimes I even feel smug if I am just being brutally honest! Reading and sharing in others parenting struggles and wins makes me feel happy, sad, competitive, not so alone, and inspired all at the same time. It really is a beautiful thing. PLUS, what better way to document life as its happening. A smart man named Abraham Lincoln once said; 

"Live, and in the end, it is not the years in your life that count. It is the life in your years". 

I hope to capture that life in the everyday moments that I may not think much of now, but  add up over the years.

I figure with a 3 year old boy as my muse the Abraham Lincoln "life" I am going to capture and save for rainy days when he is grown and married and possibly living far away will be colorful and oh-so delicious! Some days are happy, some are sad, some are crazy, and there are some days that words could never describe. So, I imagine this blog or time capsule as I am dubbing it will reflect all of it. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I want it all; The Good, The Bad, and definitely The Ugly. (See Landy aka Muse below)

My muse on a day words can't describe!

 

Luckily, my muse on most days!