|What a graduate of Kindergarten looks like...yeah...a freaking boss!|
The last year has been filled to the brim with milestones. I feel like our little family is constantly in a state of flux. Sometimes I feel like I'm handling it all like a boss and other times I feel like a complete and total failure. And I swear, as soon as I get something figured out a new mystery is just waiting to be solved.
Just a few of this year's highlights...
I nursed my last baby for the last time when he was right around 18 months. It was so freeing yet I felt weighed down with a bit of regret and sadness too. It's ridiculous, but I still have all of my nursing/pumping gear in a box AND even some frozen milk in my deep freeze...
I know, its time to let go. There is something about the finality of knowing I will not have any more babies that stings more than I care to admit.
My 6 year old started Kindergarten last fall so that was so exciting and actually not as sad as I imagined. Just give me time, I'm sure when it's Logan's turn I'll be a hot mess.
He already tells me everyday when we take Landon to school that he wants to ride the bus and that he wants to go to school too...SLOW DOWN!
It's gotten to the point where lately he wants to wear a little backpack when we walk out the door in the morning. He kills me!
My sweet little 6 year old FINALLY lost his first tooth just a few weeks ago...that thing held on forever. It was loose for like three months but my ever cautious little Landy wasn't ready to wiggle it loose. He was more like "just leave it alone and it will come out when its ready".
And actually, I totally get that. Why rush this whole growing up thing...
I mean, if I could I'd glue that tooth back in place HAHA.
Maybe I'd put you back in my womb...totally kidding!
So, as weird as it sounds I have been SO LAZY when it comes to potty training. Like, I know life will be so much easier BUT once you take the diapers away what's left of the evidence that he is still in fact a baby; my baby?
Logan now calls the bottom bunk in his older brother's room his bed so I guess the crib is the next thing to go...so that means I have to say goodbye to the crib bedding set I picked out for Landon 6+ years ago...AND I guess the toddler bed in the attic with all of the Dusty Crophopper bedding has to go too...
It's like I'm saying goodbye to two babies in a way because all of that was Landon's and I got to prolong saying goodbye to the baby stage since I knew I was having another baby at some point.
But now...it's just right there in my face; the decision my husband and I made together to be done having babies.
And I don't regret it but it's real now...SO REAL.
Landon graduated to coach pitch T-ball this year and I have already seen so many glimpses into his athletic future and the things that are to come. The boyish banter in the dugout, the passing around of sunflower seeds and Big League Chew, needing me less and less to remind him to switch out his hat and glove for his batting gloves and helmet... And then there is Logan just waiting for his turn in the big leagues! My mama heart can't handle it! What's worse... Landon is already talking football this fall and his dad couldn't be happier! NOOO! Please, for the love of concussions play soccer!
|Logi just being a baseball player|
|Too cool for school|
We took our first FAMILY camping trip together. It was...
He LOVED it. People can argue all they want about gender roles in society but there is just something about a little boy left to nature. I mean they can't help but get into sticks and mud and dirt..watching Logan become "one of the guys" has been really cool but also again...taking me out of my comfort zone a bit. Okay, maybe a lot.
I think he is more ready than I am and it's hard. And Logan is such a different kid than Landon and we are such different parents with him then we were with Landon...at least I am.
Logan wants to do everything and be everything that Landon is. While it is so sweet and endearing it is also un-charted territory for me. I don't want to stifle Logan's spirit and tenacity but
Holy heart attack...sometimes he says and does things that I just.can't.handle.
I got to chaperone my first field trip with Landon and we went to the zoo. I was assigned a few other boys in my group too and it was SUCH a treat to be able to be a part of Landon's world.
I got to see how he is in a school setting with HIS buddies. It's like I got to see a whole new side to this tiny little human that I think I know so well. And I do know him well, but I don't know everything and that's okay, I am loving getting to see his world; the world outside of me and our home. His world is full of giggling and mischievous smiles, and lots and lots of running and jumping and competing.
By the end of our field trip everyone had dirt under their fingernails, ( I couldn't help but notice when we were playing a riveting game of rock, paper, scissors on the bus ride home) smelled like sweaty sunscreen, and one poor little boy had a bloody forehead because instead of listening to me he just HAD to toss rocks into the Koi fish pond and consequently ran into tree branches that were head level. I like to call that natural consequences! Anyway, we all had a great time and I think I had the best time of all.
|There are no words...|
Today was Landon's kindergarten graduation/celebration...I have had all the milestones my heart can handle this year and it's only June..
For those of you who don't know; Landon HATES dressing up in the traditional sense..
Like jeans are an issue for him...
So, when the flyer came home that said "dress to impress" I planned on a polo shirt with shorts that don't have stains and his atrocious chuck taylor's because ALL of his shoes look atrocious.
This kid is just ROUGH on his clothing/shoes. Like to an abnormal level...
Anyway, he tells me at like 7p last night when we leave the gym because I needed to get my cycle on that he wants to REALLY dress up..."Like a president". He proceeds to describe how he wants a shirt with a tie but not a bow tie... and not nice jeans but "NICE" pants...
So, I do what any classy parent does... I say okay, then we have to eat at Mcdonalds and then run to Wal-Mart because there is no way I'm going to the mall AFTER a cycling class with two hungry kids... I'll just say this...
Wal-Mart was everything you can imagine when trying to buy clothes that fit a "presidential look".
We all survived (barely) and I have to say, I think Landy looked pretty darn good!
|Landy requested Krispy Kremes for his "special snack" Bros & Donuts|
|Logi always steals the show...for now its cute...|
|After Logan sucker punched Landon in the face...|
I think I finally figured out why this growing up stuff is so hard...it's that saying all moms know;
"The days are long but the years are short"
Yeah, about that...that saying, that sentiment is maddening because its TRUE.
Can't we just fast forward the parts that make the days long but slow down the parts that make the years fly by too fast?? Ugh, I just want it all the way I want it.
But, thats never going to happen OR people would NEVER stop having children..
So, I want to try so, so hard to embrace the long days and the difficult moments because those are where the years are made.
The other day I took my boys on a walk after dinner, mostly just to pass time before bedtime if I'm being honest. Anyway, I saw this older woman sitting on her front porch reading a book and I was IMMEDIATELY envious...Oh, I would have killed to be alone, surrounded by silence reading a book with no interruptions. And then I wondered to myself if she would give anything to be on a walk with her littles talking about magical and impossible things. It's that perspective that I want to keep on my hardest and longest days because I already know it's going by too fast. I literally pray for patience with my children almost daily because it takes ALL of me sometimes to get through the days, but when I lump the days into months and then years I feel that sting of time gone by too fast.
These boys kill me in ways I didn't know possible..The highs and lows, the ups the down's there is no escaping the polarities that are parenthood. It AIN'T for the faint of heart that's for sure!
Summer is right around the corner and I have so may fun things on our "Summer Bucket List".
There is something about intentionally creating anticipation for things to come that I just LOVE.
I'm getting the boys on board too so maybe soon I'll be posting a blog post with a photo/list of our ideas. I am hoping that this momentum carries into Summer to help me embrace the days that are sure to be long but also to be aware of all the seconds, minutes, hours, days, and months that add up to all those years that I know are sure to fly by!
|"BeeBee Logan...he asks me to wrap him up like a baby.. I oblige...VERY willingly"|
|"Close eyes Logi"|
|His original idea of dressing up for a DATE with me... I Can't... Dinosaur Landy|
|Just a couple of nuts!|
|Teaching Logi the art of window stickies...he was SO proud|
|He was so proud of himself!|