Of course it depends on the context and tone of person asking said question. And, WHO is asking the question can have a lot to do with the response you might get as well.
The short answer is; A LOT
But I have to wonder what the "right" answer is....Like, in the minds of the people asking what exactly are they looking for. I want to ask; "What do you think we do all day" OR "What items on your checklist would I need to complete to cause you to view me as worthy and successful"
If that checklist includes the following then I'm golden:
-wearing pajamas or leggings all day
-making culinary delights such as peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
-watching Octonauts for the thousandth time
-using imagination to create elaborate story lines for plastic dinosaurs
-engaging in a nerf gun war
-going to the bathroom with an audience
-getting a gym membership strictly for the one hour of child care
-cleaning the entire house to have it undone in five minutes
-snuggling on the couch
-taking a nap when my child does because that is genius
-catching up on Netflix when child is napping to keep sanity
-doing laundry for the umpteenth time
-ingesting copious amounts of coffee
-teaching ABC's and 123's
Get it...these are all the cliché things moms do. I know, I am so original! Of course the list goes on and on and I can list all the sweet mushy things too like: raising a human being, instilling patience and virtue, inspiring my child to discover his inner self... At the end of the day we stay at home moms do what ALL moms do. We take care of our children. And that looks different every day. Some days a lot gets accomplished and some days are lazier. One is not better than the other; just different.
The end result is the same. Our children feel safe and loved and are clothed and fed.
NOTE: some days he is in jammies all day, just sayin. And you should know that some days I am a gourmet in the kitchen and I pull off a healthy and delicious meal, and other days its goldfish and pizza. I have no shame about this.
The point is; we provide and nurture in more ways that a silly list can capture. Moms shouldn't have to justify our days away to ourselves or others.
I am learning to embrace this truth. After working outside the home for the last two years I sometimes cringe when people ask what I do...Like I am afraid of what they will think. Its not fair for SAHM moms to vilify working moms while making themselves out to be martyrs, and likewise it's not fair for working moms to insinuate that SAHM are lazy or less important while they are out "doing it all". We all make choices based on necessity and what is best for our families, we need to own it and stop comparing. We need to stop being envious of what the other has and be grateful for our own individual situations. Sometimes I think it is our own self doubt and guilt, and sometimes even jealousy that causes us to be haters. A brilliant woman named Amy Poehler recently wrote a book called Yes Please
She wrote about women on women crime and it was right on. Here is a little excerpt and a lesson we can all take to heart!
1. Good for her, not for me
“That is the motto women should constantly repeat over and over again,” writes Poehler. This applies to anything from the debate on birth plan to breastfeeding and staying home versus going to work. “We torture ourselves and we torture each other [over the different choices we make], and all if it leads to a lot of women-on-women crime.” So next time you find yourself “struck over the head by someone else’s crap”, try taking a breath and remember: “Good for her, not for me”.
Lets put a stop to Women on Women Crime!
Click here for other life lessons from Amy
How sad is it that mom's on either end of the spectrum feel they have to defend their choices. Comparisons are dangerous, they do nothing but divide and separate. They make us hyper aware of our differences instead of the ways we are the same. It's not healthy and there have been all kinds of posts and articles about competition among women and mothers especially. I don't think I have any other astonishing revelations that haven't been discussed to death, so, in the spirit of owning my occupation with no shame or justification needed the highlight of my day today was building and creating the most awesome lego ship/boat ever. The smile on my 3.5 year old's face was all the proof I need that I did a job well done today.
Tomorrow maybe the highlight of my day will be teaching quantum physics to my son!
|Go on someone, say something! Please, someone tell me the window idea opening out of the floor was pure genius!|
|Yes, that is a gun on the front, there is even a space for the shooter to sit|
|Look at that prop! The artistry is too much!|
Okay, sorry. I got a little carried away. Tell me the highlight of your day! Remember...no shame!