I love to write to my kids and this journal is full of writing prompts so I just randomly open it to a page, date the entry, and write away. So far its been super fun to look back and see my thoughts at different points along this journey that is parenthood. Lately I've been struggling a bit with mom guilt about a variety of things. Mostly though, my guilt crashes over me like a tsunami wave after I've completely lost it on my kids and yelled/screamed at them. I beat myself up when I know I've lost control verbally and emotionally. And sometimes mom guilt can be crippling and if we allow guilt and shame to creep in it totally robs us of our joy and it becomes the only thing we see.
So, it was perfect when I had some quiet time and I sat down to revisit some old entries and I came across this one I wrote back in January of 2017. And I needed to hear it. So I thought I would share because I KNOW other moms get stuck in the rut of shame and just not feeling good enough.
The Prompt:
What I will one day tell my own adult child about parenting
"You will never be as good a parent as you want. You will set the bar unrealistically high. It's good though because you will constantly be striving to do better, to be better.
With that being said; don't be too hard on yourself. Don't LIVE in the "lows"..your perceived failures. Believe it or not that isn't where your children are living.
They have already moved on and are waiting for you to meet them there.
So forgive yourself so you can be present with them.
Give yourself the same grace you extend to your children.
Remember, grace isn't a license to "mess" up and excuse poor choices or behavior.
Grace is what makes us WANT to be better.
Once you experience the love you have for your children you will more fully understand and comprehend the awesomeness of Jesus' love for you and humanity.
Your children will make you better people."
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